Changes

Hi Landon Ladies, Melissa, and whoever else may stumble across this thing...

I don't know why...maybe out of a little spare time today...I have decided to update this blog. I don't think I am much of a blogger, I would like to be, but I just seem to lack the drive to sit on my computer and type to whoever. Oh well, I guess my random entries will simply have to do for now.

I don't have anything super wonderful to say, but I thought I might just share what I have been learning as of late. I have graduated from college, moved home, and begun to understand that I have no idea what the Lord wants to do with me. When leaving school, God began to show me how ready He had made me for what He has in store...and what He has in store, is trusting Him day by day without knowing where He is leading me. Before leaving, I was discouraged that God did not have the same great plans that He has for so many close to me. I am not getting married, I am not going into full-time missions, I am not going to share the gospel overseas...and as of this next year and some, I am living at home with my unbelieving parents. All the people who knew my heart for the Lord are not a part of my daily life anymore, I am not a leader in Crusade, and in my home and with the people around me, when they look at me, they don't see someone who is madly in love with the Lord...but I'm just this random person that is not that much different from everyone else. I felt like the identity I had at MSU was ripped from me, and praise the Lord because all the pride I took with my identity as a student was stripped away and I could no longer hide behind the titles I had been given, especially the ones of faith. With all these changes, with this new place that the Lord has me, and with this new lifestyle I have been enjoying, the Lord has continued to bless me, grow me, and help me fall the ever more deeply in love with Him.

My biggest fear in leaving school was that I was going to be without community, I was going to walk away from the Lord, and to be honest, that I was going to miserable, lonely, and distant from the Lord. The Lord never feared these things...and what I have learned is just how much the Lord does love me and is going to continue providing for me.

Since coming home, I have found a community, I am experiencing the Lord like I have never before in my life and am learning how to walk with Him more deeply, and my worries of being miserable, lonely, and distant are being covered by God's grace and plan for me.

God has blessed me more than I deserve. My first worry was finding a church and finding community. I knew that I did not have any believing friends in the area and that if I wanted community, I needed to get plugged in to a church and to do it fast as satan likes to tell lies. God blessed me first by providing me with a contact, a former crusade staffer from MSU, to talk to about their church. 


Even with a contact, God provided me with a church that I am beginning to love and every step of the way...even when I didn't want to get out of my car to go to church or an event...He has provided and has blessed me by stripping me of what was comfortable and making me so uncomfortable for Him.


I am not anyone important in my church. I am just a random person that most people don't know. I don't have an abundance of friends and when people look at me, I don't think they acknowledge anything of my faith, they don't acknowledge that I know how to share the gospel, they don't care that I led a bible study, and they could care less that one day I might go into missions....and that's what it cool!!! I am a part of this church as a follower of Christ, for Christ. The lie that I was believing at school was that I was someone because I had a title and the Lord was using me...but that is nothing, and meaningless, especially considering the value I put on titles and the people around me put on titles.


God has provided for me now with the worries and fears I have had. God has ripped the pride that I had in crusade and made me nothing apart from Him to those around me...and that is awesome. God is forming me, growing me, and challenging me with these new relationships and the new lifestyle that I am leading.


So, what are the truths that I have known, that I think I am learning first-hand?


1.) God is sovereign.
---God is completely in control of my destiny and where He wants me. 
2.) God is the provider.
---God is providing and going to continue to provide for what I need. God was not threatened by the changes in my life, but rather, He has used them to provide for me in new ways and what is best for me.
3.) God is glorious.
---I never thought I would say this, but I am praising the Lord for the changes He has made. I am praising Him that for me to recognize how glorious and wonderful He is, He took the identity I had in myself with "God labels" and made it all about Him again. 


I am blessed by this new church, new friendships, and the challenges that go along with it all. You can continue to pray for me in the church that I am going to in that I can continue to make a build relationships, and most importantly, continue growing and falling more in love with the ultimate savior. It is still not easy, but as stated, it is good. 


Also, you can continue praying for cru and west circle. :):) I am excited to see what the Lord continues to do and am thankful for the 4 years I spent, and will continue to spend, with such amazing followers of Christ. :)